Ignoring it doesn’t help and could be hurting your health
Everyone worries. “We can’t help worrying as a first response to unknowns, mistakes, or perceived threats or risks,” says Tamar Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.
“We indulge in a few minutes of what-ifs and dark predictions and interpretations, but what we do next is key," Chansky says. "Often we know when we’re worrying and we can catch ourselves. There’s a moment where we shake our heads and say, enough! In that moment, we are ready to move into problem-solving mode.”
It’s not all in your head.
Recent research shows depression is on the decline while the prevalence of anxiety is increasing. About 1 in every 5 people suffer from an anxiety disorder. Twice as many women are diagnosed with anxiety as men. And plenty of evidence shows it’s not only a mental health issue.
One recent study found about 40 percent of middle-aged women who reported being regularly or chronically stressed had physical symptoms like aches, pains, headaches/migraines, and gastrointestinal complaints. Another recent study found heart disease patients who suffer from anxiety have twice the risk of dying from any cause as those who don’t.
“When we feel anxious, our body automatically goes into fight-or-flight mode—it readies itself for survival,” Chansky says. “The heart starts racing and the lungs pumping harder all to make us run faster from the enemy, which is great if there’s a tiger or wooly mammoth, but when it’s a first date or a job interview, this over-the-top response becomes a problem rather than protection.”
That adrenaline- and cortisol-fueled response comes from activation of the sympathetic nervous system, which makes more glucose available for fast energy and diverts blood away from areas like the skin and digestive tract to send to the lungs and muscles.
“When this system remains activated chronically, it can lead to increased blood pressure, heart rate, and diabetes,” says Lana Watkins, PhD, lead author of the heart disease study. She says long-term activation of the fight-or-flight response also reduces activity of its counterpart the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the relaxation response.
You can dial it down.
“Anxiety disorders are typically a combination of genetics, and situational stress,” Chansky says. “Happiness research suggests that 50% is your set point, 10% is your circumstances, which leaves up to 40% up to us and the choices we make in how to think and approach situations in our life.”
If you struggle with anxiety, you have a choice to face the situations that make you anxious (wedding toast or keynote speech, anyone?) or to avoid them. Getting into a habit of avoiding situations that will provoke you tends to make them seem even scarier.
Research shows a regular practice of mindfulness meditation can not only help you recognize your anxiety and accept it but over time reduce it by acting on the parts of the brain that control it.
“Mindfulness invites us to experience the present non-judgmentally as it unfolds moment to moment,” says Jonathan Kaplan, PhD, founding director of Urban Mindfulness. Here’s a mindfulness practice and five more strategies for outsmarting anxiety.
- Hit reset. Kaplan recommends practicing this simple meditation daily—even if you only have a few minutes to spend. Start by focusing on your breathing. Take several deep breaths, allowing yourself to feel the physical sensations associated with each inhalation and exhalation. Maybe you notice a subtle “breeze” around your nostrils or the gentle rise and fall of your chest and abdomen. Simply keep your awareness here for about 5 minutes, bringing it back whenever your mind wanders.
If you notice that you’ve become distracted from your breathing (which might happen a lot), simply say to yourself, “Oh, well,” or “There’s the nag” and bring your attention back to your breath. “It’s that simple, though—as you’ll see—not particularly easy,” Kaplan says.
- Work it out. “Lack of sleep may exacerbate the increases in sympathetic nervous system activity,” Watkins says. She recommends 30–45 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise during the day most days of the week to help you sleep more soundly at night.
Try brisk walking or biking, which can help release feel-good endorphins to fight anxiety, or yoga, which can activate the parasympathetic nervous system or relaxation response.
- Relabel it. “Learn to recognize the ‘sound’ of worry and realize that it is unreliable,” Chansky says. “It’s not where we get our best work done.” She recommends giving it a name like “Miss Perfect,” “The Nag,” or “The Criticizer,” because discounting it with a silly name could actually change the weight you give it.
- Fact check it. Chansky says it can help to write down what you’re worrying about and do a side-by-side comparison, writing down next to them what you believe will really happen or is true. “Remember: worry is the story we are telling ourselves about the situation,” she says. “We have choices about how to narrate the events in our lives.”
- Schedule it. Just like you would with an overbearing friend or colleague, you might have to set boundaries and make “Miss Perfect” or “The Nag” wait till, say, 5 pm every day.
“Make worry appointments with yourself every day (and feel free to skip them!),” Chansky suggests. “Rather than getting off track with worry throughout your day, choose 5 minutes when you are going to list your worries.” Then fact check them (as described above) and see if putting your worries to the test makes your mind be more honest with you.
- Ask for advice. If you are stuck worrying about something, call in your own panel of experts in your mind,” Chansky says. “Write down four trusted voices of reason—Oprah, the Dalai Lama, your grandmother, a favorite teacher, say.”
She suggests imagining you’ve asked them about a situation. “Even though it's you thinking of the options, you are stretching your perspective and getting out of the vice grip your anxiety has on your fears and flaws,” she says.
